Update 7

 Well, life continues apace I guess. I went to see the doctor and I do in fact have pneumonia. I have been struggling with a persistent cough although the meds he gave me have helped. I took about two weeks off of work and now it is the Chinese New Year holiday. So anyways I have been staying at home a lot although I have also gone out sometimes (wearing a mask of course).

So one significant thing I did is that I went to the Taipei Games Show with the twins this last weekend. I thought about writing a separate post for it but I just didn't feel like I had that much to say. It was significantly bigger than the G8 expo I went to and it was MUCH more crowded. So much so that it was often difficult to move through the aisles. We spent two hours there and saw most of it. But at the same time we weren't really drawn to try many games or stuff like that. The twins did try a new version of a fighting game that they like and play with their friends called Guilty Gear. They also got to watch some people competing at this game to try to learn some new moves. I also chose to wear my backpack which is fairly bulky which was a mistake considering that it made moving through the crowds or even standing still a bit more uncomfortable as people pushed past. I messaged Eric on Friday to see if he would be at the show but he said only briefly on Saturday (the day we went) so I didn't get to see him. I guess I kind of chalk it up as another thing that was a plus in terms of getting out of the house and doing something reality based, particularly doing something related to my hobbies. But it was pretty ho hum in terms of like actually being fun. But admissions was only 250 NT per person which is less than 10 USD so I guess I can say I got my money's worth.

As far as the Project I announced of playing Total War: Three Kingdoms, it has kind of been a bit of a failure so far. I played one hour on Thursday and one hour on Friday and then didn't play Saturday or Sunday. I feel like there is just some kind of psychological barrier that it feels like it is a lot of effort to get into this game and a lot to learn etc. Yesterday (Sunday) I was feeling like I wanted to deep dive a game but was feeling resistant to playing 3 kingdoms so I played Persona 5 instead. I guess it was ok but it feels a bit more like a visual novel than a real challenge. Part of the reason I picked 3 Kingdoms was specifically because I was kind of craving something a bit more crunchy. So anyways, I will just have to see how it plays out. I still have seven days of holiday to try to sink some hours into it.

The January challenge has been going ok. I have mostly kept up with it. Will do more mini reviews but feel a bit like I might be a bit more brief here. Part of me has been feeling slightly burned out with the challenge. Just starting a new game every day is interesting but part of me is kind of feeling tired of jumping into a new game every day and would like to find a game that can be my go to game. But then I have been thinking a bit that this can be the success of the challenge. If I can find a game I really feel excited about and want to sink some hours into then it will be good. So far the main candidates are Call of Cthulu and Persona 5. 3 Kingdoms is the other main contender for "Main Game" but it is outside the challenge.

So anyways, Monday January 20th: Euro Truck Simulator 2. This is another driving game but instead of racing you are a European truck driver. I just played the tutorials. The controls seem a bit complicated.

Tuesday Jan 21: Gris. This is an artsy platformer by the same people who made Neva. Feel mixed. Was a bit bored but also felt like I could really groove on it in the right mood. Had two crashes back to steam on deck in 45 minutes of playing.

Wednesday Jan 22: Lacuna, this is a noir detective game. Pixel graphics point and click. The voice acting left me a bit cold. The story had some promise but the controls felt a bit clunky. Overall mixed.

Thursday Jan 23rd: Firewatch. Learned about this one by watching pewdiepie on youtube (a long time ago). The intro is kind of emotionally heavy which is a bit of turn off but I did feel engaged by the game play. Basically you are a new park ranger in charge of a fire watch tower. But you have to deal with people doing crazy stuff like creating fire hazards or vandalizing your tower. Feel mixed but leaning positive.

Friday Jan 24th: Still There. Similar to firewatch you have accepted a job at a remote outpost space station in order to get away from heavy emotional issues. Basically it is a very limited area and most of what you are doing is completing tasks, either just daily upkeep or tasks assigned by your AI boss. Mixed. Felt some desire to play it in the days after the challenge but it also feels a bit arbitrary and requiring a lot of trial and error to complete tasks.

Saturday Jan 25th: Yes, Your Grace. You are the king who has to make decisions about issues that petitioners bring to you as well as dealing with family issues and a burgeoning threat to your kingdom in terms of some evil people coming over the mountains. The game is very up front about giving you difficult decisions and making it clear that you can't please everyone etc. Mixed but leaning negative.

Sunday Jan 26th: nothing

Monday Jan 27th: Metaphobia. Free game. This is an older pixel graphics point and click detective story. You are an artists whose politician father was murdered. The official story is a robber killed him but you strongly suspect your father's political opponent. Ok, but felt stuck less than half an hour into it.

Effort

 Sometimes I think life comes down to effort. Like, it is all well and good to care as I was talking about in a previous post but the reality of life comes down to the effort you put in. This is kind of related to what I was talking about in another previous post that sometimes it seems like the follow up is more important than the absolute level of your move. It seems like somehow that has been a persistent problem in my life. Just somehow deciding that things aren't worth the effort. I think related to this is some kind of fantasy that I will find something like a hobby or a profession or a calling of some kind where either no effort will be required or like somehow I will be magically transformed so the effort won't seem like effort anymore.

I think this is true but it is kind of complicated by mental illness. Sometimes I feel like I am just lazy to the bone. Sometimes I feel like I am struggling with more challenges than a lot of other people. Sometimes my mental health diagnoses feel like something I need to accept and recognize as complicating my situation and sometimes they feel like an excuse that keeps me sick.

I have made an effort at times in my life. So it is not like I am a total failure or anything. I have accomplished things that took real effort. And I continue to make an effort in my life to try to maintain my position in my family and in society. But there also seems to be some sense that I give up too easily at stuff I profess to care about.

Sometimes I feel like I need to figure out what my calling is and if I can just do that then everything will fall into place. But sometimes that just seems like a bad case of analysis paralysis.

But extending the metaphor of game for life, there are a lot of times in games where you have to cut your losses. It's really a fine balancing act. When do you push through the difficulties and when do you yield and live to fight another day? Part of games is having the spirit to fight for what you want but another important part is being realistic about your chances of achieving some goal and being flexible to give up on an approach that isn't working and to try a different approach.

I guess there are no easy answers. It's tempting sometimes to brand myself as the laziest of the lazy and the weakest of the weak who gives up at the least sign of effort. I also sometimes go on ego trips where I am an amazing hero who has overcome overwhelming odds to succeed where others have failed and the President wants to congratulate me on my success. The reality is somewhere in the middle. The reality is that I could probably stand to have some more stick-to-it-ness but at the same time it is wise to pick ones battles and to have a refined sense of when something is worth the effort and when it should be discarded.

 

Chinese New Year 2025 project

 I decided to set up a project for the next 10 days or so. I have that time off for Chinese New Year. So I decided I am going to put some serious effort into learning to play Total War: 3 Kingdoms. This is a game I have owned for a long time (several years) and have put very little time and effort into. My friend Jesse who kind of helped get me into computer games awhile ago really likes this game. I am trying to not really have much in the way of expectations but I am going to try to play for 3 hours a day. My goal is just really to learn how to play and be able to navigate the campaign for at least a good amount of time before getting whooped. I will be playing on normal so that will make it a bit more difficult but hopefully will be doable with some time and effort invested. I am definitely not expecting to beat the game in that time. I have played the Total War: Napoleon game a fair bit so I have some experience with the series but this is different in a bunch of different ways.

Just to be clear I do intend to keep up with the January challenge. But I was just feeling the need for something more to get stuck into. Wish me luck!

Update 6

 Well, I have been pretty sick for the last week with a bad cough. Not sure if I caught what my family had when they visited or something else. I will go to see the doctor tomorrow. Fortunately, although I haven't felt great mentally during this period I haven't felt terrible either so video gaming has been proceeding.

I forgot to mention in the last update but the part of the challenge that has to do with freezing spending on games has also been a success. I guess I have so many new games to play that it hasn't felt like much of a challenge. I just haven't felt much desire at all to spend on new games.

On the other hand, the vague third part of the challenge that has to do with somehow categorizing games or like doing write ups of where I am at with them hasn't really gotten too far. But of course as I mentioned I am not taking this part of the challenge too seriously.

As for the playing daily games, I have been going along with it although I did have a slight glitch last Thursday the 16th. Just delayed playing my challenge game while journaling (which I have done other days with no problem) but in the evening I just wasn't feeling great and just decided to go to bed early.

So here are the games I have been playing this last week.

Monday Jan 13th: House of Da Vinci 1 35 minutes. So back in December I did end up paying for da vinci 1 and 3 in the winter sale. I actually wasn't intending to play this as my challenge game because it doesn't feel that new since I played and finished 2. Basically though I just clicked on it wanting to look at the game's page and somehow the game started so I just decided to roll with it. It is very similar to the 2nd game but there are some issues that seemed to have gotten revised and improved. One of these is that both games involve some manipulation of time. However in this first game when you go to do this you have to pass a kind of check where you draw some lines. It is really pretty pointless. So that is something that is a bit better in the second game. The other thing is not really that important in a way. It's more about presentation than gameplay. Both games feature the ability on some puzzles to have some kind of x-ray vision that will help you solve them. In the second game these x ray interior parts are always tied to something that you can see and manipulate without using the x ray vision. I don't mean that there is any indication that you need to use the x ray vision but rather when you manipulate the mechanism it is always clear what you are interacting with. In the first game the x-ray portion is manipulated without any normally visible components on the surface. Like I said, it's not really problematic gameplay wise but it is kind of immersion breaking because it doesn't make any sense. So that is a way the second game is better also. I played this some more on the following days.

Tuesday Jan 14th: Creaks 35 minutes: this is a puzzle platformer with a very interesting art style. Basically it is kind of like a drawing of a very complicated and cluttered house with all these ladders and jumps and gaps. There is all kinds of stuff like skis, horshoes, clothes, etc kind of filling up space in this weird house. There are some kinds of enemies (mostly robotic dogs so far). And you proceed through a series of puzzles. So I feel a bit mixed about this game. I definitely like the art style. And I felt the puzzles were good in that they were making me think but they didn't feel impossible. I also think the game has a sense of mystery and there has been some teasing that more will be revealed so there seems like there might be a bit of story emerging. So those were all positives. On the other hand the puzzles often involve some reaction time and some precision in moving and positioning your character. This means that sometimes, even when you have figured out how to solve the puzzle that you will end up having to redo it several times if you aren't fast enough or don't position your guy right. This is kind of a turn off for me. I guess in some ways it is just inherent in the genre but I just hit my limit fairly quickly.

Wednesday Jan 15th: A weird experience called Dagon. 34 minutes. Basically this isn't really a game. It is a free HP Lovecraft story done up as a visual, very slightly interactive experience. Basically there is not a whole lot to to do. You proceed through the story by clicking things on the screen that are clearly marked. I only played for a bit over half an hour and I finished it. The only real game-like element is that there are some hidden things you can click on to get trivia about Lovecraft or the story or some of the stuff in the story. I was looking for them but missed like 3/4 of them. So I guess technically I could squeeze more time out of this if I decided to replay it and search for all the trivia markers. But overall there just didn't seem to be a whole lot to this one but as I said it was free so I don't have any complaints.

Thursday Jan 16th: nothing

Friday Jan 17th: Observation 56 minutes. This is kind of a freaky game. It is kind of like psychological horror in a way. There are no enemies so far. Basically you are an AI on a damaged space station after some sort of event. Basically there is one survivor who is trying to use you to get things back up and running. The horror comes from the psychological pressure of feeling like something terrible happened and you have to help this person cope and survive. (There are no dead bodies, the other crew are just missing). And the survivor is obviously like freaked out and like trying to use you to solve problems but like a lot of your systems have been damaged. Some of the things you have to do are on a timer so that also adds to the pressure. But I failed those and it wasn't game over so it doesn't seem punishing. So there is just this sort of dread. Overall I would say it is well done but I feel a bit mixed about putting myself in that position more. I think maybe it is a game for the right mood.

Saturday Jan 18th: Neva 35 minutes. This is a stylish platformer. You play as a woman forest guardian type with a wolf to accompany you. So far it seems like the wolf doesn't do anything like fight or anything but just accompanies you but you can interact with it some. Basically the art style is nice. It's like a water color forest with some evil corruption in some places. I felt the intro section / tutorial was a bit too long. There is a lot of running without much going on. Feel a bit mixed on the gameplay. It seems ok but not like amazing. There seems to be a lot of just basic movement and jumping and stuff. The enemies so far have been pretty easy although I did get to a boss where I died several times and ended up putting it down (on a later play session). One attraction for some people might be that there is a story mode so if you don't want to worry about dying but just enjoy the art and story then you can.

On Saturday I actually decided to do make up games for the 1st and the 16th. So I played Detroit Become Human and an English Haunting.

Detroit Become Human 51 minutes. This a very slick, realistic graphics game about androids. Basically it is trying to present some of the problems of having these androids be part of society. But it is from the view point of the androids. So a lot of it is about the "injustices" these androids face. There are some obvious references to racial segregation with androids having to stand at the back of the bus while there are many seats free. Overall I feel mixed. I got it thinking it would deal with the issue of the humanity of androids more from like an action oriented kind of game. Maybe something more like Blade Runner. Basically it seems like there are multiple threads where you will play as several different androids in different situation. So some of what you do is more action oriented (hostage negotiation) but some of it is like cleaning up the house of an alcoholic single father. So I kind of feel like it is already starting to make some choices (like comparing androids to African Americans) that seem pretty questionable and I kind of feel like it is signalling that it might end up being kind of preachy or emotionally manipulative. So basically I feel mixed. Part of me is wanting to see where it goes but some warning signals are kind of flashing already.

An English Haunting 69 minutes. I like this one. It is a pixel graphics point and click about a professor ghost investigator whose partner seems to have run off with a big chunk of money that was donated to help them do their work. I like this kind of game where it isn't really about combat but like solving puzzles and mysteries and like interacting with people. (That said it's not like I am opposed to combat in games at all, just sometimes like to play these slower paced games). See myself giving this more play time.

Sunday January 19th. Persona 5 Royal 60 minutes. I liked this one significantly better than I was expecting to. Basically for some reason during the winter sale last december I decided I was going to try to buy some "classic" JRPGs to kind of try out this genre and see for myself if I like it. I found a reddit thread and read the comments and decided on three games. One was Chrono Trigger, the second was Dragon Quest XI, and the third was this one. I tried out Chrono Trigger and didn't feel that hipped on it. I had some mixed impressions of this Persona game and was starting to feel some remorse about getting these games. But it seemed significantly different than Chrono Trigger so I wanted to give it a try but my hopes weren't very high. But basically so far I am enjoying it. It is basically an anime in video game format. The first hour was very heavy on like exposition, dialogue, world building that kind of stuff. So we will just have to see how it evolves if the gameplay takes up a bigger chunk in the future. But I felt engaged and like I want to continue with it.

So, still feeling positive about this challenge. Feel like it was the right choice to "break the seal" on these games (as I put it in an earlier post). I am feeling happy. I think part of it just has to do with the fact that the first half an hour to an hour of a video game is pretty stress free usually. It's mostly just getting you into the swing of things. So there hasn't been a lot of frustration with like getting stuck or whatever.

Update 5

Kind of bit mixed on writing this update. I have been keeping up with my January challenge idea. Part of me is wanting to write about that but part of me worries a bit that if I write about it I will lose the spirit somehow. But I feel like writing something and kind of want to write mini reviews of the games I have played so far to kind of clear them out of my brain a bit. So here goes:

Jan 1st: didn't play anything. As I mentioned before I was kind of hoping this would take some pressure off of it since I didn't have to be perfect. So far it seems to have worked like that. I have still been motivated to continue so I haven't written off the challenge just because I missed the first day. But I feel I have been a bit more relaxed about it because it doesn't feel like some kind of total failure if I miss a day. But so far this is the only day I missed.

Jan 2nd: citizen sleeper. this is an interesting game. I felt the writing was good. It is a bit bleak but not in a super terrible way that some games go for. It is basically turn based in that you have cycles and each cycle you roll some dice (the number varies depending on your condition). Then you are able to use these dice to complete actions. The number showing on a die determines your chances of success or failure. Basically you are a stowaway on a cargo ship who gets salvaged. (It is unclear what happened to the ship.) You are basically a runaway from a kind of corporate slavery that you sold yourself into. You are on a strange space station with a variety of characters and will have to solve some problems. Definitely see myself getting back to this. But how far I get with it will depend a fair bit on which direction the tone goes.

Jan 3rd: forgotten city. interesting game. You discover an undiscovered ancient city and travel through a portal to the past. In your time everyone in the city has been turned to gold. It is your job to figure out why this happened and how to stop it. Felt a bit mixed on this one but basically I am pretty interested and want to continue with it. So far the writing is a bit mediocre. Not bad but not great. The plot is a bit weak also. The leader of the city told me it has to do with some "sin" that someone in the city was going to commit and that they would all have to pay the price for this. So, my impression is it a bit of puzzle to solve but there will be some twists and turns on the way which sounds interesting enough that I intend to go further with this but I will just have to see how it develops.

Jan 4th: forza horizon 4, this is a driving game. It is more on the realistic side as opposed to the arcade side. But the controls are pretty simple so it isn't exactly at the simulator end of things either. The graphics are good. Basically I picked this up for 80% off because it was about to be delisted (meaning removed from sale but people who own the game can still play it). Basically quite awhile ago I got a game called Need for Speed Heat. That is also a driving game and there were things that I liked about it and I did play it some but a big part of that game is getting chased by the police and having to escape from them. So I was kind of looking for a game with driving that didn't have that police chase feature. Feel a bit mixed about this one. Partly it fits the bill and there are some collecting elements that seem appealing (don't require any real world money). But I guess I haven't felt much motivation to pick it up since then. I guess one thing is just that there really isn't a story to the game. So partly it made me question how much I actually like driving games. But I think maybe it will fit the bill for something relaxing to do. Like just put some real world music on and tool around in a variety of cool cars. The game is pretty flexible in that there are races but also a lot of open world roads that you can drive on so you aren't limited.

Jan 5th: magnum opus: this is a puzzle game by zachtronics which is a highly respected indie puzzle game studio that no longer really exists. This entry ranked pretty highly on Rock Paper Shotguns list of 100 best pc games you can still play. So I decided to pick it up this last winter sale. Basically you are doing some alchemy but you are doing it by designing some machines to do the process for you. So you get the regents and some mechanical arms will grab them and move them through steps that alter them or bond them with other regents. Then you have a product that you have to deposit in the receptacle. Basically there is a lot of freedom to design these machines the way you want so there are a variety of ways to solve them. But after you submit your answer you are shown three graphs that compare your answer to other people's answer on three metrics. Then if you want you can try to redesign your answer. So basically the only requirement to advance to the next puzzle is just that you create a working solution but if you want to take it to the next level you can get into trying to optimize your solution. Enjoyed it and played it a couple more times this month. See myself putting some more time into it but some of my initial enthusiasm has faded a bit so we will just have to see.

Jan 6th: abzu. This is a free game that I got through epic. Basically it is an underwater exploration game. There seem to be some loose objectives but I didn't get much sense that they were terribly pressing. I think mostly you are supposed to revel in the beauty of the underwater world. Basically I wasn't really feeling this one and it was the first one where I checked the clock before the stipulated half an hour was up. There's a good chance I won't get back to this. Basically I kind of felt like the graphics weren't super amazing and I found it kind of boring. I also struggled some with the controls. Maybe would be better with a story or a bit more feeling of something being at stake.

Jan 7th: city of brass. this is another free game through epic. first person roguelike (meaning you start over at the beginning if you die). You are basically a thief who has called forth an ancient city from the sands in order to get artifacts. It was ok but didn't really stand out for me. There are some enemies to beat and some treasures to get. There seems to be a bit of a story. Probably won't be returning to this one but it kind of depends. I did like it ok but just didn't really seem all that compelling and I was kind of annoyed with the starting over.

Jan 8th: call of cthulu. this is kind of a roleplaying game, kind of a point and click (more about finding stuff than combat). So far I got pretty hooked on this and have actually played it a fair bit after my first dip into it. It is kind of cliched cthulu mythos type stuff like tortured artists and insane asylums etc. But somehow it has kind of clicked for me. You are playing a detective who is investigating a fire for the father of a woman who perished in it. I won't give any spoilers. But so far the mechanics, graphics, and story have been fun enough for me to keep going with it. It is based on a table top rpg but I think the translation is fun to play and not overly complicated as some rpg games are. It's not perfect and there are some slight annoyances like visual glitches when you are moving around and also a number of situations with people talking over each other. In some ways it is not very challenging. It is a lot about finding stuff in the environment. The punishments for missteps are pretty mild. Overall I like the game and want to continue but at the same time, the atmosphere (kind of gruesome horror) has begun to wear on me a bit as well as the fact that to some extent the game feels like busy work.

Jan 9th: hexcells. this is a puzzle game that was highly recommended by the buried treasure blog. It is just straight puzzles. Basically like minesweeper but John Walker (the blog author) was adamant that this far superior because minesweeper occasionally requires guessing whereas hexcells does not. There are also some interesting twists. Basically kind of neutral on this one. I like it for what it is but am nowhere near as passionate about it as walker is. Kind of fits the bill for logic puzzle mode and I can see myself finishing it just because there don't seem to be a huge number of puzzles. So far it is pretty easy. I seem to be close to half way through it so maybe it toughens up. Some of the instructions are slightly less than clear involving making some mistakes before I figured it out.

Jan 10th: minds beneath us: was looking forward this one because it has an extremely high positive review rating on steam. it seemed interesting. It is a point and click pixel graphics story driven game. I have played games like this before and enjoyed them. For example gemini rue on the ipad. This one just wasn't clicking for me though. I feel like it has to do with the story. The first part of the game is a bit on the ugly side tone wise and then you are kind of thrust into a domestic drama about a relationship. Somehow these choices just didn't really work for me. I wasn't hipped on either side of the coin. I guess the promise is that they will somehow come together but neither side seemed terribly appealing. This might be intentional but kind of put me off. On the other hand, I played for over an hour the first time I played so there was something about that kept me going for awhile. So I haven't totally consigned it to the rubbish bin.

 Jan 11th: between horizons. this one is set on a generation ship traveling to a nearby star. You are in the security department. So far kind of mixed. I liked it better than minds beneath us but wasn't as hooked as with call of cthulu. this is another pixel graphics point and click. So it is more about solving cases. So far it seems like there might be a bit more actual puzzle / case solving than in cthulu but it's hard to tell from my limited time. That would be appealing. On the other hand the visual style is a bit kind of bubble gummy and the writing didn't seem amazing for kind of the same reason although they seem to be bringing up some more serious stuff. This one will probably get some more play time at some point in the future.

Jan 12th: inside: this one seems to be well regarded but walker made some disparaging remarks about it. I didn't play for super long but liked what I saw of it. It is kind of learn by doing sort of platformer / puzzle game. The tone is a bit dark featuring what seems to be a kid being chased by faceless men and savage dogs and inhabiting a kind of dreary rain soaked half abandoned world. Can see myself playing some more.

Overall I have been a pretty happy with how it has gone so far. I am enjoying it. It is still a bit of a struggle to get myself to follow through some days but I kind of think that is positive thing. I feel like it has served the purpose of getting me playing more and actually trying games and finding what I like and what I am not so thrilled with. At one point I thought I might take this opportunity to dig into the pile of free games I have gotten from epic but that didn't last very long. Just have to see how this evolves in the rest of the month.

 

Intellectual Work

 Sometimes I have a real craving for intellectual work. Sometimes it seems like one of the core problems in my life has been searching for some kind of intellectual work that I could really feel happy with and at home in. Some kind of work that would be really satisfying and like fun at the same time.

Sometimes it seems like intellectual work is less about finding a field and more about having your brain in gear no matter what you are doing. Making a music playlist or teaching classes are both places where I have recently used my mind to do something productive.

But somehow I have something a bit more specific in mind. I feel like at times like these I often reach for chess or go because there are really specific concrete problems to solve. Those can be tactics problems for example. Or analyzing a commented master game. Or working on my opening repertoire. The point is the problems are very definite and most of the problems are discrete and solvable with a little elbow grease.

But sometimes it can seem like solving chess puzzles or like puzzles in video games is a bit pointless. Like what is the purpose of doing this? How does it fit into a larger plan or goal or objective?

I have already sketched out a solution to this problem across my various posts so far.

Basically it works like this:

1. Living life well is the ultimate goal. I want to feel successful. Success is a very complicated question that involves a lot of different aspects of life. In some ways I am successful in other ways I feel like I have barely begun to scratch the surface of what that might mean.
2. Life is a struggle, we are confronted by many problems in life and must struggle to create a meaningful life.
   
3. Life is too complicated to understand from a God's eye perspective. We need ways of making sense of it.
4. Metaphors are a way of making sense of it.
5. We pick the metaphors that work for us based on what we enjoy doing
6. The field that I have kept coming back to throughout my whole life is games. I have done a lot of stuff and investigated a lot of different pursuits. (With varying degrees of success). But the field that I have spent the most time in and that I keep coming back to is the world of games.
7. One of the core elements of games is problem solving.
8. We can use games as a metaphor for life. Life is the ultimate game. Obviously, being good at games is no guarantee of being good at life and vice versa. What I am talking about here is a conscious act of imagination / will to find parallels and to help make sense of these two realms by interpreting them in light of each other.
9. This parallel is a framework for solving problems. Games feel less trivial when interpreted this way and the possibilities of life feel less bewildering when they can be parsed in terms of smaller systems.
10. This is the ultimate intellectual work of the Great Game. Parsing problems in terms of this framework.
11. Life and games are made up of choices.
12. The choices we make are a reflection of our strategy.
13. Our strategies optimally take account of the situation we find ourselves in but also our desire to promote certain values.
14. Strategies are not set for all time but grow and change, sometimes gradually sometimes with sudden upheavals.
15. Strategies should be holistic. This means they should take account of all of the resources and tools available. They shouldn't be one dimensional.
16. But at the same time, a big part of making choices is narrowing down and being specific in order to create a coherent idea. 

 This endpoint is kind of why I feel like scope is a big problem for me. Sometimes I feel like I want to be hyper-specific and sometimes I really want variety. It's also a matter of my mood. Sometimes games feels like an impossibly small world and sometimes it seems like an impossibly large world. Lately I have been focusing on video games as a world that has a great deal of variety but also some limits.

To be continued....

 

January Video Game Challenge

 So, I have kind of been feeling I wanted to work on a challenge in the month of January. So I decided to do one involving playing video games I haven't played yet.

So the challenge has 2 main ideas. First off, I aim to avoid spending money on video games in January no matter how good the deal. I might still add free games from epic but my goal is to not buy or spend any money on games this month.

The second, and I guess main point is to try some of the games I have acquired. So the goal is to play a half an hour of a game in my library that I have never played before each day. Basically I missed January 1st as I just wasn't feeling great and didn't get around to playing anything. So perfection is already out the window. Hopefully that will allow me to feel a bit looser about it and not stress about this too much. So far on January 2nd I played Citizen Sleeper. On the 3rd I played Forgotten City, and on the 4th I played Forza Horizon 4 (the blogger dates don't match Taipei time so this post might be dated the third but I am writing it on the morning of the fourth).

There is a third idea that I have thought a bit about but don't really feel committed to. This is to somehow organize the games in my library. I might make a list in document and write some goals for each game. Or I might just create categories in my Steam and Epic libraries and add games to those. This isn't a very serious part of the challenge. This partly because I feel mixed about this kind of organization. It often seems to be a good idea but in my experience it almost never works out and sometimes backfires in terms of killing my enthusiasm rather than building it up. Secondly I don't have much idea of how to incorporate it into the challenge other than maybe just categorizing the games I play each day.

Another issue is something my Dad talked about in a recent email. Just basically the idea of having a lot of games (in his case books) ongoing to where I have started them and feel invested to some degree but that I am not actively playing through as my main go-to game. I already feel I have a good number of open games that I have started and messed around with but not gotten very far with. This project will create a bunch more of these loose threads. I guess that is the downside. The upside is that I am breaking the seal on a lot of these games so I can try them out and get a bit more of an idea of whether I will like them or not. So maybe I will be more inclined to pick them up when I have free time.