Fighting Spirit

One thing that gets talked about in chess or go is fighting spirit. From what I can tell, a lot of times what people mean by this is a willingness to enter complications. Basically a refusal to back down from a fight. But there also seem to be other related aspects. I am thinking of the idea of refusing to be submissive in the sense that when the opponent threatens you, it is important to look for some kind of way of resisting. Of course you can't simply ignore the threat but you can do things like making a bigger threat or making a double edged move that both defends and creates a problem for the opponent. There is also something about playing for a win rather than playing not to lose.

I feel like one of the main ways that depression manifests in my life is a kind of lack of fighting spirit. Sometimes I just don't want to struggle. I just want to hide away. This can also manifest in terms of quitting at things I say I want to do because I met with a challenge that I had to struggle to overcome. To be fair to myself, there are times I have shown fighting spirit, or grit, or perseverance. I have overcome obstacles in my life just like everybody else. But at the same time I think I have a tendency to throw in the towel pretty early on a lot of stuff. Of course I rationalize it in various ways. Sometimes I convince myself that I am quitting so I can do something I really love more and that I will never throw in the towel on. Sometimes I convince myself that I just don't feel like dealing with that obstacle right now and I will get to it later only for months and even years to go by until I decide I don't really want to mess with it at all.

I think there is a stereotype of gamers being bad at life. But this is one area where I feel like games and life work together. At least in my own life. There seems to be an important sense that when I choose to give up in one area of my life that it has a ripple effect on other areas of my life. There also seems to a positive angle that when I face up to a challenge and overcome an obstacle in one area it gives me fighting spirit to overcome other obstacles.

Of course it is complicated because there are times that it really is the right move to quit, or resign, or change tack. You can't fight every single fight to the bitter end. You win some, you lose some. I guess that is where wisdom comes in. Knowing what fights are important to struggle with and what fights it is important to just decide are not worth it. That is another thing that applies in both games and life.

So, one of the things I have been thinking about is how to cultivate fighting spirit. I think somehow it has to do with having things you want. Whether that is to win the game, or the benefits of being employed. There have to be things in life that are worth fighting for and not giving up on. It is important to find those.